the journey of a techxpat

I spent early December 2022 job searching: applying online, replying to recruiting messages on LinkedIn that had gone stale, and walking into technical interviews knowing I would bomb it because I hadn’t mentally recovered from the layoffs but convincing myself to give it a shot anyways. I did what I thought I needed to do to move on with my life and career…throwing everything at the wall and hoping something would stick. 

Around that time, I came across an interesting opportunity on LinkedIn, the JustTech fellowship. They would provide a two-year research grant for individuals interested in public interest tech. I read the description and it sounded intriguing…I hadn’t felt fulfilled the last six months I was at Meta, knowing something needed to change but not knowing what. On the same day, I sent a message to an old co-worker and mentor from Messenger Privacy. He had previously worked at a digital rights nonprofit before transitioning to industry. I asked if we could talk through things as I’m figuring out what to do next and he said he was happy to help. We rescheduled our call twice, finally deciding on a window of time when I would be at LAX waiting for a flight to Cairo. (My toxic habit is planning for calls while I’m in transit - mostly while driving). As I’m waiting to go through TSA and I look ahead at the long line, concerned I might be late for our call, I almost decide to text him (Nate) and ask to reschedule once again…but I decided against it. In my mind i thought, “Eh it won’t hurt to catch up with him. Who knows, maybe having this conversation now will be useful”…little did I realize how much it would be. 

After finally getting through security, I quickly found a fairly empty gate and sat down. I called him and briefed him on my thought process. I spoke broadly on my interest in privacy and tech, how I liked the mission-driven teams I worked on but how the type of impact I wanted to have didn’t really trickle down to my day-to-day work as an engineer. I asked him what are other places, or possibly opportunities, where I can do purposeful work outside of industry. Not knowing what I don’t know, also not knowing how to articulate the ideas swimming in my head. He mentioned a few institutes, one of which is quickly jotted down “Berkman at Harvard” and decide to look into it later. 

Reader, if you haven’t picked up yet but this entire post is another example of the signs Allah SWT presents to me when I’ve least expected it.  

Dec 18th, 2022: A few days after I arrive in Cairo, sitting in our family home with my aunt and grandma, I causally start Googling to see what I can learn about Berkman Klein Center (BKC) at Harvard University. As I read through the bios of previous fellows, scholars, and academics at BKC I was professionally starstruck. I find out that they have a fellowship open with a deadline of January 9th. Only three weeks away…and one of those weeks I would be in Tanzania climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro 🤦‍♀️ Perfect timing, maybe poor planning, and conflicting priorities much?

Major imposter syndrome crept in, but I told myself you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and channeled the same mentality and “stupid determination” that I had in training and running a marathon and climbing the highest mountain in Africa to pull together the best possible application for this fellowship in less than two weeks. 

Long story short: I connected with someone on LinkedIn that was a fellow at the Institute for Rebooting Social Media (RSM) at BKC. It turns out that opportunity aligned even better for me given my previous work at a social media company and she passed my information on to one of the directors. After a few conversations in January, they liked me enough and wanted to bring me on but were still waiting to hear back about funding for their new lab before extending an offer. They were looking to hire folks that were leaving the tech industry, “techxpats”, and it would be a pivotal time to join. I was excited but slightly concerned, they anticipated everything panning out by March…a very quick turnaround and it would only give me two more months off of work. I was reluctant to spend Ramadan and the summer on the East Coast. I decided to wait until they sent my the final start date and official offer to adjust my plans and in the meantime I continued to live my life and travel... 

March 14th, 2023: I’m back at LAX for a flight to Mecca to complete umrah. As I’m walking to my gate, I get an email from the director of RSM and she finally has an update for me. I find a spot to sit down and call her, it turns out it’s the same exact gate I was sitting at when I had that call with Nate four months earlier, when I had no idea what BKC was.  She told me everything was moving forward, albeit very slowly, and so I put my full faith that this would work out (and if it didn’t I would eventually find a plan B) and went off and enjoyed the final few months of unemployment and freedom. After that trip to Mecca and Medina, I went to Nepal, NorCal (the Bay Area, Yosemite, Lassen), Houston, Costa Rica, drove my car from California through Oregon all the way to Seattle so I could spend the rest of the summer in Washington, and finally my last two week trip I flew to Australia to meet a friend and climb another mountain which turned out to be the icing on the cake. 

September 4th, 2023: I moved to the East Coast around the start of the school year and walked around Cambridge and Harvard University in awe. I started at the perfect time and joined the week of the 25th anniversary of BKC, over 200 prior affiliates and fellows had flown in to celebrate and reconnect with each other. I was sitting in one of the main sessions when the faculty director spoke to the audience, addressing the previous fellows, and asked “If BKC has changed the trajectory of your career, raise your hand” and it was unanimous with almost everyones hands raised. He then asks, “If BKC has changed the trajectory of your life, raise your hand.” The same number of hands were raised.

Today: I still find it hard to mentally process how everything came to be, how these opportunities present themselves, how I repeatedly find myself at the right place at the right time, and wondering what could possibly come next. On my 27th birthday in July, I went through pictures from the past year thinking “my life truly feels like a movie”…but one with major changes in storyline, characters, pursuits, and quite frankly the most chaotic plot. I attribute most of what has happened to tawakkul (reliance on God’s plan) but also the mindset in accepting I may not have all the answers but trusting my gut and intuition when something feels right. I wonder if this is the climax…if I’m teetering on a moment in time when everything has aligned in ways I could’ve never fathomed. Thank you again reader, for watching this story unfold, I write mostly to unravel the thoughts swirling in my head and document these events in the hopes that it provides me (or anyone really) some perspective when we find ourselves at crossroads deciding where we go from here.