Cambridge to Chamonix: a theory of change

I’d never been much of a C student, but lately ive been fluctuating between mid to high 70s with an interesting metric: my sleep score. This new Garmin has been telling me that I may feel “irritable”, and my restless sleep and “high stress” may compromise my day. I know life changes lately have been keeping me more alert - and more anxious - and being able to point to a number gives me the validation that what I feel isn’t just my imagination. 

I can be stuck in my own head a lot, but there was one decision that I followed my gut more than anything, and that was when I stepped into my new life in Cambridge twelve months ago wide-eyed and ready for a change. I’d be lying if I said I had it fully figured out, and I was strategically taking this role and making this cross-country move to support my long-term goals. The reality is I didn’t know why or if I should do it, or what it would help me with, and the only thing tipping me over the edge and finally agreeing was the idea that “change is nice”. 

I’ve accepted a life of change, a temporarily nomadic lifestyle, and a habit of doing things out of a normal persons comfort zone. Change naturally sparks feelings of restlessness, fear, and anxiety. But you realize the more you embrace it and intentionally put yourself in those situations, the easier your life becomes. You realize that whatever life throws at you won’t phase you, because with change you learn to adapt. You learn to let things go: expectations, desires, and negative emotions. And you learn to find joy in the mundane and serendipitous encounters.

I arrived in Chamonix yesterday for a two week trip. It’s a city I’d always had in my mind as the place to be as an endurance athlete. And here I am sitting in my hotel room finally making that thought a reality. My INTJ tendencies give me an intense need to understand the world around me and every action, decision, and reason why I’ve been made to exist in this point with whatever responsibilities I have. Instead, for once, I want to slow down and take it all in. I want to accept that things are that way that they are just ~because~ and to live with that. I don’t want to plan, or to expect to have things figured out by an arbitrary date in the foreseeable future. I need the stillness to sit and reflect on the moment I’m in now, the blessings that have come my way, and a moment to just be…